This is the way the world ends: not with a bang, but a whimper. - T.S. Eliot

I hate my reproductive system.

I am in so much pain right now. It kind of pisses me off that I'm in so much pain right now. Last month, I had to have a D&C in order to clean out my uterus. Apparently, mine doesn't work properly. If I'm not actively on hormone therapy, my uterus won't empty completely like it should each month, and I end up with a gunked up (and exceptionally painful) uterus, which is why I ended up needing a D&C last month.

However, everything should've gotten cleared out last time. I should be starting fresh. Why the HELL am I in so much pain?

Let me answer my own rhetorical question.

'Cause I've got endometriosis.
'Cause I've also got ovarian cysts.
My reproductive system blows.

Goddamn I hurt.

My back aches and I'm cold and dizzy from the monthly onset of anemia and I feel a lot like someone is repeatedly pummelling my abdomen. My head is throbbing and I can't even walk upright because of the pain.

I've pretty much determined that I don't want kids. I'm 99% sure. If I were 100% sure, I'd have had the damn uterus removed by now.

But there's that nagging little 1%.

I guess I'll just go home and pop some Vicodin and snuggle up to my heating pad, and suffer again through my monthly hell.

And to all those women with light, minimal, stress-free periods: I hate your guts right now.