Opening up a can of worms...
My mother wants me to get a lap band. You know, like a gastric bypass, but less invasive. They don't actually remove your stomach, they just cinch it up through laparoscopic surgery. She's even offered to help financially.
My mom is convinced that I have self esteem issues surrounding my weight. (True, but...)
I think that she's thinking that if I lose weight, I'll be better looking. As she says, "You're pretty, but if you lost enough weight, you'd be EXCEPTIONALLY pretty." I think she wants me to be able to get any MAN I want. Actually, forget think. I know that's what she's thinking.
Huh.
Go figure.
Excuse me while I'm a little bitter.
Let me first say that parents are very good people, but just like the rest of us, they are human and have made some mistakes. The following was a whopper.
In high school, my parents weighed me every single morning for 3 years. If I had gained weight, I was forbidden to drive the car they had acquired for my use. If I gained even more, I was grounded.
On my 16th birthday, I was not allowed to go get my driver's license because I was told that I couldn't get my license until I had lost 15 pounds. I had only lost 13.
I was never significantly large. I was maybe 15 pounds over weight, but I was a stellar athlete and carried it very well on my 5'11'' frame. I was never larger than a size 14 until I got to college.
It killed me to watch my friends go out and I couldn't because I may have eaten a few extra french fries at lunch. I had myself convinced that I was the most hideous of all creatures because I was so fat. It kills me a little now, because looking back, I really was gorgeous. I just didn't know it, because all I'd ever heard was how I needed to lose weight.
Needless to say, I developed serious issues with my weight once I left the house. I became a horrendous binge eater, and also dabbled in bulimia for a few years (Recall Exhibit A...), until my esophagus became so torched that I couldn't handle the pain any more. It ended up that while in college, I gained a total of 150 lbs. I nearly doubled myself. Pretty much, just because I could.
I've struggled with my size ever since. Currently, I'm still about 50-60 lbs heavier than I was at my extreme hottiness of 18-years old. However, I'm actually okay with myself right now, and I'm finally able to look at myself and not think I'm a horribly ugly monster.
And it just ticks me off a little that she's still doing this to me.
My mom is convinced that I have self esteem issues surrounding my weight. (True, but...)
I think that she's thinking that if I lose weight, I'll be better looking. As she says, "You're pretty, but if you lost enough weight, you'd be EXCEPTIONALLY pretty." I think she wants me to be able to get any MAN I want. Actually, forget think. I know that's what she's thinking.
Huh.
Go figure.
Excuse me while I'm a little bitter.
Let me first say that parents are very good people, but just like the rest of us, they are human and have made some mistakes. The following was a whopper.
In high school, my parents weighed me every single morning for 3 years. If I had gained weight, I was forbidden to drive the car they had acquired for my use. If I gained even more, I was grounded.
On my 16th birthday, I was not allowed to go get my driver's license because I was told that I couldn't get my license until I had lost 15 pounds. I had only lost 13.
I was never significantly large. I was maybe 15 pounds over weight, but I was a stellar athlete and carried it very well on my 5'11'' frame. I was never larger than a size 14 until I got to college.
It killed me to watch my friends go out and I couldn't because I may have eaten a few extra french fries at lunch. I had myself convinced that I was the most hideous of all creatures because I was so fat. It kills me a little now, because looking back, I really was gorgeous. I just didn't know it, because all I'd ever heard was how I needed to lose weight.
Needless to say, I developed serious issues with my weight once I left the house. I became a horrendous binge eater, and also dabbled in bulimia for a few years (Recall Exhibit A...), until my esophagus became so torched that I couldn't handle the pain any more. It ended up that while in college, I gained a total of 150 lbs. I nearly doubled myself. Pretty much, just because I could.
I've struggled with my size ever since. Currently, I'm still about 50-60 lbs heavier than I was at my extreme hottiness of 18-years old. However, I'm actually okay with myself right now, and I'm finally able to look at myself and not think I'm a horribly ugly monster.
And it just ticks me off a little that she's still doing this to me.
posted by Flipside at 4:12 PM
2 Comments:
Its deja vu all over again.
Tell her no, flat no. Tell her you are happy with your body and think you are just fine the way you are.
Andrew
I'm so sorry your mom did this to you (and seems to be still doing it to you). I've learned that just about all parents have fucked up their kids somehow...my parents (namely my mom-my dad won't talk about it) think I lied about how much brother molested me as a child and think I've been a lying whore since. At one point I had to tell my mom to go fuck herself because I was so sick of it. We didn't talk for a long time and a lot of things have happened since then, but, she has been much better about not opening her mouth to spew filth about me or anyone else.
Hopefully it won't get to that point with your parents, but sometimes you just have to tell them in a very harsh way to shut the fuck up and let you live your life. Hang in there. *hugs*
-Nicole
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