The Nasty Little House
So there's this fabulous little hole-in-the-wall greasy spoon called Lankford Grocery about 3 or 4 blocks from Xanadu where they serve the ridiculously cheap and ridiculously delicious food. I love to walk over there on Saturday mornings and eat breakfast, but I hadn't been in a while because a) I've been a little busy, and b) it's been way to hot to walk anywhere in the morning.
Two lots away from this little hole-in-the-wall, there was the nastiest of nasty houses. There were always piles of trash in the yard, the front door was hanging off it's hinges, the porch was decrepit and sagging. Aw hell, the whole damn house was decrepit and sagging.
So this past Saturday, I decided I had to let my girlfriend experience the wonder that is breakfast at Lankford's. As we were walking over there, I was telling her about the nasty little house nearby. I regaled her with the story of the time I witnessed the large mouse/small rat (?) darting away from the house, followed by the scraggliest cat I ever saw, which pounced, chomped, and ran back inside with it's prey. (Ick...) As I finished the story, we turned the corner discover an empty lot where the nasty little house was.
Apparently, someone else had decided that it was time for the nasty little house to go. Since it had been a good 3-4 months since I had last dined at Lankford's, I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was to see the empty lot over grown with a foot of weeds.
Whatever. So we're sitting outside at the diner, and the little toothless old lady who has been working there for ages brought us out our breakfasts. Ever so casually, I asked her, "So, how long ago did they finally tear down that nasty little house that used to be right over there?" I probably should've mentioned it in slightly more diplomatic terms, but truth be told, that's what it WAS: a nasty little house.
She looks at me, and responds, "You mean MY house?"
I could have died a thousand deaths.
As, for 15 minutes, she filled me in with all the horribly mundane details of how she had lived there for 15 years, and the landlady did this that and the other thing, and how she had to (gasp) pay a pet deposit at her new house (which she was paying $20/mo less for than the one that was just torn down... I shudder to think...), I sank lower and lower into my chair, and my girlfriend tried to keep from cracking up.
It'll be a long time before I eat at Lankford's again...
Two lots away from this little hole-in-the-wall, there was the nastiest of nasty houses. There were always piles of trash in the yard, the front door was hanging off it's hinges, the porch was decrepit and sagging. Aw hell, the whole damn house was decrepit and sagging.
So this past Saturday, I decided I had to let my girlfriend experience the wonder that is breakfast at Lankford's. As we were walking over there, I was telling her about the nasty little house nearby. I regaled her with the story of the time I witnessed the large mouse/small rat (?) darting away from the house, followed by the scraggliest cat I ever saw, which pounced, chomped, and ran back inside with it's prey. (Ick...) As I finished the story, we turned the corner discover an empty lot where the nasty little house was.
Apparently, someone else had decided that it was time for the nasty little house to go. Since it had been a good 3-4 months since I had last dined at Lankford's, I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was to see the empty lot over grown with a foot of weeds.
Whatever. So we're sitting outside at the diner, and the little toothless old lady who has been working there for ages brought us out our breakfasts. Ever so casually, I asked her, "So, how long ago did they finally tear down that nasty little house that used to be right over there?" I probably should've mentioned it in slightly more diplomatic terms, but truth be told, that's what it WAS: a nasty little house.
She looks at me, and responds, "You mean MY house?"
I could have died a thousand deaths.
As, for 15 minutes, she filled me in with all the horribly mundane details of how she had lived there for 15 years, and the landlady did this that and the other thing, and how she had to (gasp) pay a pet deposit at her new house (which she was paying $20/mo less for than the one that was just torn down... I shudder to think...), I sank lower and lower into my chair, and my girlfriend tried to keep from cracking up.
It'll be a long time before I eat at Lankford's again...
posted by Flipside at 1:59 PM
1 Comments:
ROFL So sorry to laugh at you...and I shouldn't because this is totally something I would've done...definitely an "open mouth and insert foot" type thing. Priceless! ;)
-Nicole
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