Let me introduce Flip Side

I recently cleaned out a desk that I'd had as a kid growing up in my parents' house. Not long ago, I had commented that I was thinking about getting a desk for my "junk room" and my mother proffered the desk up for taking. It's not like we're going for a "look" in the junk room, hence the name "junk room." We're going purely on function here, and free furniture is a nice bonus. Her one caveat: I was required to clean it out entirely and either take my stuff or throw it away. (Congenital packrat-ism: my mother plans to replace the desk's spot with file cabinets full of 3rd grade lesson plans she hasn't taught in 10 years. Plus, she's retired.)

Anyhow, in the desk, I found this essay, marked with an "A" and a note that Mrs. B, my 5th grade teacher, had written telling me that she thought I was an excellent writer. And now I feel I must share the beloved irony:

Flip Side

September 7, 1988

Let me Introduce Flip Side

I'm 10 years old and have two brothers. One is eighteen and wants to be a pilot for the navy. He went to N.M.M.I. to prepare himself for the navy. My other brother is fifteen plays J.V. football for KHS. He almost made varsity, but he sprained his knee. I'm 60 inches high, have medium lenghth {sic} hair of sandy blonde. I wear size ten shoe (and nines too sometimes) and have brownish eyes. (every time I ask people what color eyes I have I get different things.) I have a dog, springer spaniel, named Springer, who's supposed to be a show dog but didn't have good ankles. We have a tortise {sic} we got when my oldest brother was 4, and snake we found in the woods. (My dad brings home a live mouse every friday for her.)

I like to play soccer tennis and soccer. I love to read like to play with babies. I collect porcelian minitures {sic} and i have a lucky penny collection with 239 pennies in it. (I also hate to keep my room neat!)

My favorite subject is Composition even though i dont do well in it. I like to think creatively. My best subject is math. I've always had trouble with handwriting and neatness.

I'd like to be a lab scientist (like my dad) or sergeon {sic}, artist or cartoonist. I don't want to be a teacher because my mom says its to much hassel {sic}. I just hope I'm healthy and happy.